


Oh Ms Believer

by majestic_emo



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Oneshot, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, joshler oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7837153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majestic_emo/pseuds/majestic_emo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler faces serious depression, he thinks he's alone. But his boyfriend Josh, will always be there for him. No matter what.</p><p>A/N: if you read it, then you'll understand what I mean. This is my first one shot and song fic. I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>Trigger warnings: mentions of self harm and some suicidal thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh Ms Believer

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments will be greatly appreciated!

__Oh , Ms Believer, my pretty sleeper  
Your twisted mind is like snow on the road  
Your shaking shoulders prove that it's colder  
Inside your head than the winter of dead

I hold Tyler close to me, his sobs and wails finally stopped. His hiccups became even breaths, he's asleep. No more pain just sleep. I look at the boy in my arms, he's beautiful when he sleeps. He looks younger. No more stress for him, he doesn't deserve it. Tyler Joseph is my boyfriend, who is dealing with depression. He shuts our friends out of our lives, and I'm the only one who can get him to crack. I can't think of the pained moments we went through together. It's just really hard. He locks himself in the bathroom, and doesn't come out for hours. Leaving me sobbing at the door, while calling him to come out. Wiping his tears away when he does come out. Telling him he's the best thing to ever happen to me. Sadly, that is our daily routine. I don't hate telling him, how much he means to me. Not at all. I hate how sad he is all the time. He doesn't deserve any of it.  Tyler, talks about a lot of dark things. He's a little twisted in the head, which is what I love about him. I know that he'll change the world one day, in the best way possible.

But he's been shutting me out, lately. I found him in the bathroom the other day, after I came home from school. I never want to see him in that state ever again.

_"Tyler, please come out!" I yell desperately, "I need to know if you're okay." I look around the house, until I hear quiet sniffles in the bathroom. I open the bathroom door, not ready for what I found. I find Tyler sitting in a pool of blood, his shoulders shaking violently. I hear him murmuring I'm sorry numerous times. I take the blade out of his hand gently, and place it on the sink. I grab Tyler's arm gently, examining all his cuts. These don't belong here, all these bloody gashes and cuts don't belong on this beautiful skin. Soft and sensitive skin, it wasn't meant for pain. I grab Tyler and lean his arms over the sink, and go looking for the peroxide. Once I'm back, I notice that the blade is gone. I give Tyler a look, and he takes the blade out his pocket. I place it in my pocket instead, I'm hiding this away from him. I put his arms back over the sink, kissing his cheeks as I pour peroxide. But he doesn't make any sounds or movements, his face is just blank and emotionless. He doesn't move an inch, as I wrap bandages around his arms. Once I'm done he runs to our bedroom, I chase after him. He's clutching and pulling at his hair, "why did you do it, Josh?" I stay silent, "why did you save me? I wanted to die, I have no fucking purpose. But you ruined it, like you ruin everything else. I would've been happy, but you want me to suffer instead. Never talk to me again, Josh." I feel tears streaming down my face, this room is suddenly cold. No more warmth just cold, the room is lifeless. I walk out of our bedroom, and to the guest room._

I slept there that night, but around like 2:00am. Tyler woke me up, his eyes were bloodshot. He apologized for what he said, and apologized for kicking me out of our bedroom. I told him that it was okay, but he wouldn't listen. He would continuously say, how I shouldn't forgive him, instead just yell and kick him out of our apartment. I told him I would never do something like that, we cuddled that night.

 _I will tell you I love you  
But the muffs_ _on your ears_  
Will cater your fears  
My nose and feet are running  
As we start to travel through snow  
Together we go

"I love you, Tyler." I tell Tyler as we cuddle, we've only been together for six months. But that doesn't matter to me, I love him and I always will. His reaction is mixed emotions. There's hope, shock, love, and sadness.

"No...you don't. You can't love somebody like me. I'm suicidal, Josh. I cut myself, I tried to kill myself multiple times. No one could love somebody like me, even they could they'd leave eventually. Just like my old friends and my ex boyfriend. So, don't waste your life on me. I'm just a lost soul, and I don't think I'll ever be found."

I feel tears town down my face, "stop it. Just stop it, Tyler. I don't care that you're suicidal, you're still the same person to me. Before all of this. Before your depression, you were happy. We did things together as a couple, and I will never forget those moments. Your friends are missing out on an amazing person like you, and your ex just lost the best thing ever. And that's you, Tyler. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I will never, ever leave you. I would take a bullet for you, Tyler. You can leave me, but I'll never leave you." Tyler has a big smile his face, with a bunch of tears running down his face. I miss his smile. "This is the first time, I've seen you smile all month." Tyler blushed and looked away, "you make me smile, Josh."

That comment makes me smile, so I press a quick kiss to Tyler lips. We made love that night, slow and passionate. As I whispered sweet nothings into Tyler's ears. After we were finished, we showered and got back in bed. Tyler turns off the lights, the only thing on is his nightlight. It's a rocket ship and he loves it so much. I feel the bed dip, as he comes under the covers. I wrap my arms around his torso, even though it's dark I can still see his smile. "My face hurts from smiling a lot," I laugh at his comment. "That's a good thing. It means your happy, I'm happy that you're happy Tyler." I feel Tyler's soft fingers trace my bare bicep, "but I'm not gonna stay happy, Josh. I'm gonna feel useless again, but you're gonna be there for me...right?"

"Every step of the way." I hear Tyler let out a breath of relief, "but Tyler that's how depression works. You can be happy, at some points. But depression will always come back. It's part of you, your demons. But I'll fight them off, along with you. I promise." I feel Tyler shake in my arms, "thank you, Josh. I would never be able to thank you enough, for making me feel better about myself." He pauses, "I love you, Joshy." I press a kiss to his lips, his tears wetting my face slightly. I feel so many emotions right now, he actually said it. He means it. I've never been happier, "I love you, too." I mumble to him as we pull away, I hear him mumble "I love you, more." As he snuggles his head into my chest. Well here I go. I'm ready to run with Tyler and his depression. I don't care how cold it is, I am never leaving him. He can't face the cold alone. I won't allow it, we face it together now.

_We get colder as we get older  
We will walk so much slower_

I rub Tyler's back, as he sobs. "I did the stupidest thing ever, Josh."   He hiccuped, "what did you do?" He takes deep breathes, "I gave up my b-basketball career. To start m-my music career, like I have any talent at all. I-I wanted to inspire people, save people, help people w-who deals with what I-I deal with. I can't help anyone if I'm a basketball p-professional. I j-just want to be that o-one person everyone looks up to." I wrap my arms around Tyler's hunched figure, "I look up to you. Tyler, you have talent. You're great at the piano, and you're amazing on your ukulele. You just have so much musical talent, that I support your decision of not accepting the scholarship. I see it, Tyler. No, I see you becoming the next big thing. The person who helps people like My Chemical Romance or Fall Out Boy. You could be the therapist pumping through people's speakers." Tyler giggles at my Fall Out Boy reference, but his smile slowly turns into a frown.

"I wish I could optimistic like you, Josh. But I never will be that big, I just don't believe anymore. I never see it happening, now I can't go to a good college. I shouldn't have done that, I should've stuck with basketball. Now, I'm gonna be a failure in life." I stay silent for a minute, "Tyler, we are both young. We're twenty two, who knows what the future has in store for us. You have to keep on believing, never give up on your dreams."

 _Oh, Ms Believer, my pretty weeper_  
Your twisted thoughts are like snow on the rooftops  
Please, take my hand, we're in foreign land  
As we travel through snow  
Together we go  
Together we go

"Josh, w-why can't I stop crying?" I smile at him, "because you're happy. They're tears of joy." Tyler and I got a record label, he started off without me for a while. With some of his friends, but he didn't want to that anymore. So, we started doing some gigs together. A saw person us perform, and told us that he would talk to his boss, who owns Fueled By Ramen. We just got our letter today, and Tyler haven't stopped crying since. "I feel happy, Josh. I actually feel happy, that I didn't continue with basketball. I'm happy that I get to share this experience with you. I've never been happier in my life. I love you, so much, Josh." I laugh as Tyler tackles me in a hug. "I love you too, Ty." Tyler pulls away and smiles at me, with tears running down his face.

I hate when he cries. But he's beautiful, when he cries tears of joy. That smile that will never go away, and the tears that keep flowing like a waterfall. It looks good on him. I wonder if he'll have the same reaction, when I purpose. "Josh, I'm really happy. But I'm gonna be sad agin, really soon. What's gonna happen then?" I stroke Tyler's brown hair, "I'm gonna help you, no matter what. But you're happy again, and that makes me happy. I've never been happier for you, but this is new boundaries. New things we are going to go through. Together."

_We get colder as we grow older  
We will walk so much slower_

"Don't lose what you believe in." Tyler tells one of our fans, "I almost did. But I'm happy that I didn't. Josh told me to keep going no matter what. You're still young, so don't lose sight in what you believe in." I smile as the girl thanks him, and hugs him tightly. Tears running down her face, I notice red lines on her wrist. She's in a bad place, a place Tyler was once in. But our music helps her, hopefully she's able to climb her away out of her depression and be happy again. Tyler unwraps his arms from around her, and watch her walk away with her friend. I continue to watch as Tyler greets fans, I'm happy that we're going to be together forever. Facing anything that comes in our way.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you enjoyed this Joshler one shot. I really enjoyed writing it. If your kind of confused let me explain what I think this lovely song means. I personally think that in this song he's talking about a girl her loves (maybe not like in a relationship, maybe just friendship) who he admires for believing. And although to most she's "miss believer" and she seems quite perfect because of it, he can tell how much she's hurting inside, for example when he says "your shaking shoulders prove that it's colder inside your head than the land of the dead.". But yet, even though she's struggling she still choses to have hope, and that to him is even more inspiring and he loves her for it. When he says "we travel through snow, together we go" he is referring to how he's going to stick by her side through the hard times because if they continue to stick it out, she believe they'll eventually reach the light at the end of the tunnel. However the chorus: "we get colder, as we grow older. We will walk so much slower" I believe refers to how as we grow up we lose sight of what we believe in often times and we become "colder". Also, the fact that they're walking so much slower as they grow up refers to that loss of faith and the doubt that they begin to have about there being a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't say that these are my words, someone else said it. But I agreed with them, once again I hoped you enjoyed this one shot. I will make an epilogue if you enjoyed this!
> 
> ~ majestic-emo


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